Wednesday, January 15, 2014

♥ Unbelong ♥

"Do you feel it?"

He raised his eyebrows quizzically. Soft music wafted weakly from the gramophone record playing in a corner, struggling to be heard over the clamorous laughter and claustrophobic conversations. The tiny little room, with its makeshift sitting arrangement of mattresses, dari and cushions was overflowing with people. Laughter boomed and trickled from every room of the house. The fairy lights and dimmed lamps threw a mosaic of shadows and sepia tones. Almost everyone was barefoot, breaking underneath their feet some chips that were spilled over a few hours ago and no one had cared enough to clean them up yet.

"This - everything. The choking warmth of this room, the white noise underlying all the borrowed happiness..."

"Borrowed?"

"Borrowed, yes - for it will all last till the cigarettes and the drinks do, till  there is no silence, no pauses. Everything and everyone is flowing in a rhythm, but it won't last forever. Nothing does. And they will smoke another cigarette or make another drink because it gives them something to do with their hands while they mull over what to do next.  It will end in overenthusiastic goodbyes and awkward hugs. And then there will be, once more, the silence to deal with, the thoughts to finish."

"You don't like being here..."

"Why should I? It all feels fake. Its like watching a bad movie over and over again - where the actors may change time and again, but you know their dialogues, you can imagine their back-stories and you can even predict almost accurately how it will all end."

"Sounds like fun to me".

An offensive silence settled around them, morphing itself angrily into uneasy thoughts and disquieted
reflections.

He finally spoke up.

"Congratulations."

She raised her eyebrows quizzically.

"You have shattered the illusion."

"So, do you feel it?"

"What?"

"The feeling of unbelonging".

He didn't reply, but simply stubbed out his cigarette.