Friday, January 4, 2013

♥ Away ♥

How many masks am I supposed to bear...
where do I go from here?


Due to certain reasons, I am away from Bombay.

Away from him. Away from my cup of lassi. Away from the warmth of my green throw. Away from the goofy grin of my schizophrenic plush tiger. Away from lazy afternoons...

Far, far away from his hugs. The companionable silence over the evening tea. The shared laughter during an episode of Supernatural. The knowledge that he is there - that made me shrug off my worst nightmares.

Away from the crinkled pages of a much-loved book. From the boxes full of assortment of glitters and papers and sequins and thingajims that I call my craft stuff. From the homeliness of my pyjamas, the comfort of a pair of blue jeans. From the possibility of a drag off a cigarette - if I wanted to. From the soothing pages of my diary in which I could doodle and write to my heart's content. From the simple knowledge of the fact - that I am home.
Away from freedom.

I feel as if life is passing by, as if I am losing precious hours cooking and browsing and cleaning when I really should be with him. Doing anything. Doing nothing. But with him. For we may have vowed to spend our lives together, but who knows how long these lives are? I have this crazy, silly, childish but terrifying nightmare that I will never see him again, that I will never go back. And I keep telling myself its silly, that I will go back, soon.

But sometimes, soon is not soon enough. Sometimes, tomorrow is tomorrow. Its not today, its not now. And that's so scary I sometimes feel my heart stop.

Like now.

7 comments:

D. said...

great post, great blog. :) you have one more reader .

Rain Girl said...

@D... Thank you! :) That's very sweet of you. :)

roberval gomes said...

adorei seu blog belo trabalho ( translating into English loved your blog beautiful
work )

blunt edges said...

Aha aha! Rain Girl is sure in a romantic mood. ;)
Loved it.
Soon is never soon enough, right? :)

Joseph Campbell said...

Nice post. Well written.

rainboy said...

its been long time since i visited any blog...
the wait is nearly over :)

take care n bearhugs

Julia J said...

You´ve got a great writing style :)