Monday, January 25, 2010

Footloose in Bombay

I always get nervous before travelling in local. Local = train in Bombay. Its scary even before I climb in. The crowd, the fatal casualties, the rush, the confusion and the chaos.

But then, every time I travel by local, I get down from it happier. I like the woman's only compartment, the "thank god no one will grope me here" feeling. Standing by the door, watching stations pass idly by, observing the women around, their chit-chat, the hawkers who jump in to sell clips and chips and hankies and makeup and toys and notebooks and pencils and what not. Life here is very fast, it just goes on and on. And people try to jam everything in those meager twenty-four hours. And this fact is most visible in the women's compartment. There are three women sitting opposite to me and all three are talking on phone - and their tone show they are talking with a loved one. Husband, boyfriend? They keep talking till their station arrives, and then they put the caller on hold, push their way through the crowd and get off the train..and I can see them walking past my window - they have resumed the phone conversations. Yes, all three of them.

In a corner, two friends are gossiping and giggling. One of them rummages in her bag and tugs out a brand new suit (I can see the tag) and shows off it to her friend, who makes all the appropriate noises and comments. Another woman is arranging -on her phone -for someone to pick up her son from school, while someone else is looking for jobs.

I like to observe them, imagine their life, the constant running about, the struggles, the pain, the love, the laughter...and its as if life is a kaleidoscope in front of my eyes...

Bombay. I like Bombay. Not Mumbai. Nopes.

Walking walking walking. Aimlessly on Bombay's streets. Stopping whenever something catches my fancy. Evening at Marine Drive and a wonderful breeze - feel like living again.

Eating at a roadside eating joint. Clicking photos through its bay windows. Looking wistfully at balloons and a balloon covered taanga :P

That feeling you get in a new city - discovering it, loving its freshness...

Bombay. I think I will like you. Though I am trying not too. Because you, too, are not permanent.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

verbal doodles @ dawn

Home. A word. Holding so much inside. Security, peace, contentment. That feeling of belonging. And how exactly do you define home? Especially when the place you were brought up in is far, far away and every time you visit it, its like nauseatic nostalgia all over again.

These walls around me nowadays - are just walls. This is just a box, a house. A temporary arrangement in the things of life. Permanency was lost like the innocence of childhood. Forever.

No place like home. No place called home.

So if I want to run away today, where am I supposed to go?

wish -

the perfect cup of coffee

to paint something that doesn't make me feel useless, doesn't let me tear the page apart

read a nice, comfortable, soothing and thoughtful book

talk with someone without any pretensions, without an ulterior motive, without helplessness wrenching my guts out, without over analysing every word, every thought

stop thinking. please.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Black Hole

Thoughts have been black holed - whatever that means. Why care. What's the point anyway. Whatever is done today, will be undone tomorrow.

And its time to button up, too. Not that I blame anyone. Just the price of being me.

Just need a room with no window and a bed where I can lay in peace and pull the sheets over my head. And disappear.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

heart to heart

image via :: here
quote via :: here