Monday, December 21, 2009

Sweet November

Life has changed... for good.

As you can see, I have been a bit busy. But hopefully, in a few weeks, life will get back to its normal pace and my blog will not feel so neglected.

Love you all.


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Laws of life

"When I was a kid, the worst of all days was the last day of summer vacation, and we were in the school yard playing baseball, and the sun was down and it was getting dark. But I did not want it to get dark. I did not want the game to end. It was too good, too much fun. I wanted it to stay light forever, so we could keep playing forever, so the game would go on and on. That's how I feel now. Come on, come on. Let's play one more inning. One more time at bat. One more pitch. Just one. Stick around, guys. We can't break up this team. It's too much fun.

But the sun always went down. And now it's almost dark again."

- Mike Royko

Changes in life. Good changes. Bad changes. Pleasant changes. Unexpected changes. Looking-forward-to changes. Please-make-it-go-away changes. It-happens-for-a-good-reason changes.

That's life's story. Change. Mine is going to change. For good. I am happy. I am packing away a new life, a new me, new joy and fresh hopes in a cute lil suitcase for a new journey. But am unhappy about what is getting left behind - what can no longer fit in the brand new suitcase. Roommates who became friends, confidantes. Friends who became what fills up an empty evening. The comfort of knowing a city - knowing the medicine shop open even on a Sunday, the correct auto fare from point A to B, the perfect shop to bargain at for the perfect dress. The cup of tea offered when I am sick. The hug given, unasked for, when needed the most. The hand which slips inside my palm when am scared. The surprise gifts. The happy faces. The sunshine-filled laughter. The inside-jokes. The "I know exactly how you are feeling" look.

Somehow, its difficult to focus on the gain right now.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Something & Nothing

I took my morning walk, I took my evening walk, I ate something, I thought about something, I wrote, I napped and dreamed something too, and with all that something, I still have nothing because so much of something has always been and always will be you.

- Mark Danielewski

image via::ffffound

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Lucky day

It’s been three years today. Three years of knowing someone I have known almost all of my life (go figure!). I met him, my best friend, this day, precisely three years ago. I wasn’t too keen on meeting him – the chief reason being that he was a he. But still we met and talked and somehow or the other, because of, or irrespective of those couple of hours, we stayed in touch.

We’ve fought with each other, cried with each other (ummm…actually I did), laughed and laughed (of course), shared stuff we really shouldn’t have, tore apart theories of life and made up our own, talked over endless cups of coffee and hot chocolates, shared profound silence in cafes all over the city, created our own secret jokes, hit each other where it hurts the most, drove each other to desperation, gave silly yet meaningful gifts, seen each other at our worst (atleast I hope so), became each other’s misery and each other’s solace, peeked into our souls, exorcised our demons together (or tried to), disagreed on almost everything and survived it, known what the other is going to say before they even utter a word…

And in doing all this and so, so much more, sweetheart, you have altered my very definition of “Life with friends”.

Hugs and kisses… (yes, today is your lucky day).

image via::

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I have been doing things...

like clicking random people on random streets
discovering Costa in CP
meeting new people in the oldest part of the city
traveling in autos
and buses bursting to the seams

browsed through bookstores
waiting for a miracle
sipped delicious lassi
and found a pink monkey

ate kulfi after ages-
raindrops sprinkled on my glasses
had samosas and tea
enjoyed a "me" moment in my balcony
and listened to a poet while rain tapped on my window

met my dearest brother
and discovered nostalgia in youtube
craved for coffee and life-changing conversations
hugs and blueberry muffins

has been beautiful off late...

Saturday, June 6, 2009

how to reduce heartache in 3 easy steps

Dusk flickered through the sheer curtains, dancing on the floor. She sat in the shadows, her heart shying away from light; least everything inside became visible, vulnerable. Fingers clenched and unclenched around something. Something shiny, glinting, twinkling, sharp, smooth...

And she wondered, not for the first time, how will it feel to plunge it into her breast, beneath which lay the reason of all her sorrows? To hit the problem at its roots. Steel cutting neatly through flesh, oozing blood... maybe it will pain...but then, isn't the only cure of pain is pain? Her heart ached so much that she wish she could wrench it out with her fingers and throw it somewhere, far, far away... to finish off this throbbing pain...

Still thinking, and without realising it, she drew a crimson streak on her arm, followed by another. The knife burnt its way through her flesh. Warm, sticky blood rushed out to cool off the heat. And it was as if something eased inside her. As if an ache subdued.

Samandar lehron ki,
lehron ki
chadar odh ke so raha hai...

par main jagun
ek khumari, ek nasha sa
ho raha hai...

tu magar hai bekhabar...
hai bekhabar...
(OST: Delhi6)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Guilty as charged

The worst part is not when someone has hurt you, crushed your heart and walked all over you. It will pain, you'll be hurt, yes.

But that's not the the worst part.

Its when you realise that you have hurt someone you wouldn't dream of hurting. What one feels then, is worse than what they call hell.

Monday, May 18, 2009

yes. yes. yes.

The results are out.
And I really like them.

Just hope our brand-new govt. doesn't disappoint us.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

how did my yesterday go...

why does an unreturned hug hurt so much?

and I thought hugs were the best way to say "I am sorry".

Friday, May 8, 2009

hell is an emptiness inside

Posted on my other blog today. after eons I guess. but it wasn't enough. I think I still need to vent. Tried writing in my diary yesterday. Didn't help. Just a bit which wasn't really much. And the full moon. And the song.

The funny, sad part is, that I am totally unable to write what is really choking me. That which is like an empty ache inside. Even the sun, even the occasional rain doesn't help.

I so, so wish love, that you were tiny enough and I could keep you in my pocket. And on full moon nights and every other night and those beautifully quiet days, too, I could take you out and breathe your scent in.

P.P.S.: comments are off. you are all very sweet but I really can't handle "oh what happened" "take care" kind of thing right now. Sorry if I've offend any of you. But I don't want it to be like an attention-seeking post.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

give, and take?

She gives up

her name (to take his own)
her wishes (maybe a career, maybe a choice of veg-non-veg food)
her body (something she has learnt to hide since the day since she was born, sth precious, sth holy)
her parents (not altogether, but in so many cases, it still is true)
her freedom (yes, it also happens..)

...all this... and more for three silly words....

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

yes. really. let's.


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day

A day of love. To celebrate. To be happy. To realise how lucky we are to be able to share it with someone. A day to bask in the sun, kiss in the rain and huddle closer in the cold.

A day to celebrate your singlehood too (and why not?). Shower your friends with flowers and thoughtful gifts. Your mother would love to receive a bunch of roses and your Dad won't mind a hug. A day to gift yourself that one thing you have been eyeing for a long time. A day to gift your friends something they have always wanted - your time.

A day to release balloons high in the air. A day to buy heart-shape pillows and wear red. A day for a cup of hot chocolate. A day of chocolate-dipped strawberries. A day to read poetry.

A day to let the wind play with your hair.

A day to dress-up, even if you are only making tea of yourself in the kitchen.

A day beautiful like life. A day to celebrate just because you are lucky enough to be alive and kicking.

A day not to sulk over being single. A day to enjoy your solitude - you may lose it soon.

images via:: Lolita

Friday, February 13, 2009

I don't know my own country

What is this?

Seriously. For the first time ever I believe, I am sick of the so-called culture of this country. Drive a girl to commit suicide, harass a Muslim guy, all in the name of defending this stupid culture.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


तुम्हारे मेरे कमरे के बीच का दरवाज़ा
इसे खुला ही रखना
तुम्हारी खुशबू मुझ तक आती रहे
रात भर मेरे सपनो को मह्काती रहे।

जो यह दिवार सी है दरमयान
बेशक गिराना मत इसको
मगर इस दरवाज़े को खुला ही रखना
मैं सीख लूँगी एक दिन, यह देहलीज पार करना।

- result of reading too much of Amrita Pritam's and Gulzar's poetry

Thursday, February 5, 2009

precisely so!

"Perhaps I'm old and tired," he continued, "but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied."

Slartibartfast, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

sweet november

This November. Me and Him.
Together. Forever.


Friday, January 16, 2009


isn't this so darn cliche, nostalgic, sweet and funny and romantic? i will watch this again on valentine's lolz...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Monday, January 12, 2009

damp, salty pillows

He had come in her dreams.
And when she woke up, the dampness of her pillow paled in front of her smile.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

सुलझे अनसुलझे ख्याल

पलकों की कपकपाहट
रातों को सोने नही देती
तुम्हारी आखों की उदासी
हमें रोने नही देती

आधी रात के बाद, और सुबह से पहले का वो वक्त, हमेशा उसे उसकी याद दिलाता था। उसकी बातें, जैसे ओस की बूंदों सी ज़हन में चमकती थी। उसकी बातें, जैसे धुप की चादर। उसकी बातें, जैसे बारिश का पैगाम। उसकी बातें, जैसे सूनेपन में एक दरार। उसकी बातें, जैसे जिंदा होने का एहसास।

उसकी बातें...