Friday, November 14, 2008

5 years bitten away

It all started innocently enough.

A surprise holiday from office, and Diva (my roommate) and I decided to do some pre-winter cleaning and then maybe go to Dilli-haat. We hauled off the bags from top of our almirahs. So out came the tumbling bundles of soft, cozy woolens and shawls, and all that is needed to survive winters in Delhi. Diva set about sorting them, and I thought of having a look at my portfolio, my HUGE file - containing my college work.

Clearing away the rest of the mess, I reached out towards the file, and my heart stopped beating. One side of it, the bottom right corner was bitten off. Gnawed at by sharp teeth. The mouse hadn't stopped at the thick cardboard casing, but had bitten all the way to the other side.

5 years of my sweat, my toil, of staying awake and screwing my eyes over intricate designs, of perfecting and re-perfecting a sheet, of sketches made in the peak of summers, my wrists staining the rough texture of the paper...work spanning over 5 years, two colleges and 6 teachers...

My favorite sheets - a girl standing inside an open door, hesitant, curious, rendered in oil pastels.
Another sheet, not something which was beautiful, but memorable, now eaten away because of those idiot mice's insatiable hunger.

I can still feel, in my bones, how it felt to take a brush and paint a canvas; dip it in colors of my dreams, and see my imagination come to life. I still remember the grainy texture of the handmade sheets, purchased by not having an ice-cream, that teddy bear...then using the almost broken oil pastels to paint, to draw. And wait for the next day, to show it to the teacher..to wait, with bated breath for her to reject or accept it.

I didn't learn from the past, I guess.

15 comments:

Red Soul said...

oh man!!!!!!!!!! these mice people! awwwwwww man.... i hate this.


and im not planning to go to jakarta, its jus a wish, a dream, and (shall be ?) fulfilled LATER in life if I'm able to make something of myself :P

Does it matter said...

Hmm, maybe you could recreate it ?

But, however, you could create another one, but it would not be **the** one with all the memories!

You did not find any good rat poison I presume?! Or, you decided to live n let live.. :)

•♥•♥[V]♥•♥• said...

another reason for u to scan all your works

marvin the paranoid android said...

so totally agree with vicky... get 'em scanned, wouldja please??

Khamakha said...

i cannot even feel how it must have felt... but.. am sure you can recreate,it wouldnt be the same , but may be u can jst take it as an inspiration to continue painting and explore deeper into the subject:)...

and by teh way...u ve written this experience beautifully..
i can read each sentence, phrase n word again n again..

Beauty and the BEast said...

Ouch!! that must've hurt!! Silly you na?? Why would you stuff something so close to your heart in some forgotten corner...??

rain girl said...

@red soul.. oh you'll go..am sure :)

rain girl said...

@Dim.. it's not just one sheet..its many-many...how can I possibly do that with a full-time job?

will try to salvage a few sheets though..

rain girl said...

@V.. sigh..yes, i guess so.

rain girl said...

@marvin.. come help me pick them up and take to NP :P

rain girl said...

@khamakha *hugs* .. ur comment is so beautifully innocent.. thank you.. u made me smile..

will try bacha, but not with this job..later , m sure i will go back to painting.

rain girl said...

@B&B.. i am not that silly, girl. I placed it on TOP of my STEEL wardrobe, i think way out of reach for any mice. And I checked it once every few months. If that mouse learnt how to fly, well, I can't help it, can I?

Just call me 'A' said...

next time convert it to digital and store it in your hard disk..and ohh yes...backup :)

hi...first time...came from DIM..methink :)

d gypsy! said...

i agree , get them scanned :)

rain girl said...

@just call me 'a'

& @ d gypsy!

all you ppl who have suggested backup are right, but..

you have not understood the essence of the problem. a handmade thing can't be the same once it's digitalised. Think of your fav childhood t-shirt and think about scanning it.
Yes, i will scan them. But they are not the real thing, na. It's like reading a e book. Its just not the real think. No touch, no feel... nothing. Just cold data.