Tuesday, September 16, 2008

pretentions

so tired
of pretending to be happy
why don't you come
and make me cry
why don't you come
and erase this smile?

am melancholy's favorite child
and she's hugging me tight
making me breathless
and am slowly sinking
am screaming your name
muffled echoes bounce
in crimson walls of my heart...

tears lurk impatiently for their turn
behind these lost lids
wanting to breathe outside
and dying a painless death...

I've cried before
tears have lost their value
will cry no more
just come please
just come, once
so i can die peacefully
a painless death
soaking in your breath
drowning in your eyes
your eyes
my world
my heaven
have never known something so pure
have never felt like this

i will melt
i will mold
however you say
but don't let me go
piece by piece...
don't ask me to pretend anymore

32 comments:

Beauty and the BEast said...

*hugs*

Dont pretend... you will always be loved more for what you are...prromise :)

Ricky said...

Sad poem and although I don't like you writing sad ones, you write them beautifully :-)

Prakhar said...

beautifully written!...emotions clearly visible!

•♥•...๑۩۞۩๑♥V♥๑۩۞۩๑..•♥• said...

wow yaar ! mast poem
i want more of these from you.
:D *hugs*

rain girl said...

@B&B... thank you *hugs* :)
sometimes i feel i'm always pretending.. :P

rain girl said...

@Ricki... ji bahut shukriyaa... :)
what can i say? my best poems are written when i'm melancholy..

rain girl said...

@prakhar... thanks a lot! and welcome :)

rain girl said...

@V *hugs* more?
:P wait..where's my daroo ki bottle? where are the rains?
ah! perfect..now i can write ;)

•♥•♥Vicky♥•♥• said...

daroo ki bottle nai milegi.
have orange juice instead ...

rains..come here at home it rained all night. :P

*hugs*

rain girl said...

@v... yaar waise bhi i don't have daroo ..and Dr. Uncle has banned juice :(

•♥•♥Vicky♥•♥• said...

yeh kaun sa doc hai juice mana ker diya.
sarkari doc tha kya...??

Does it matter said...

Suggestion - can you write happier poems instead?

I hated the poem.

Why?

Because it has the potential to make eyes moist.

Even Wall-E's. Honest.

Evocative, nice.
Honest. Hence, sad.

Does it matter said...

Suggestion - can you write happier poems instead?

I hated the poem.

Why?

Because it has the potential to make eyes moist.

Even Wall-E's. Honest.

Evocative, nice.
Honest. Hence, sad.

rain girl said...

@does it matter...

i write what i feel. and if i feel sad, its bound to show in my words na.

funny, i don't think this poem is worthy of anyone's tears.

Does it matter said...

True maybe, what you say.
Not a stream of tears, but just that little teenie-weenie moist eye, ok?

Like happiness, sadness too is infectious. Esp if conveyed well.

Unfortunately, it was.

rain girl said...

in that case, i am sorry. i didn't intend that.

Does it matter said...

On the contrary.

It is a Gift.

Channelize it - example, if you wish, you would spread a lot of happiness & cheer.

If you don't, keep writing in this vein as well. A beautiful sad poem is preferable any day to a bad happy one.
Do keep writing.

•♥•♥[V]♥•♥• said...

@ Does it matter

never visit my blog u might have an heart attack.

Does it matter said...

@V:
I already did V, yesterday.
Specifically recall the conversation at a party - and how typical guys are, or can be.

Will ofcourse wait to hear from you if you remain faithful to this philosophy in the future too! Fingers crossed..

I especially noticed the R rating warning. That, coupled with the fact that the site seems to slow up my browser, probably saved me my heart attack...

Cheers.

•♥•♥[V]♥•♥• said...

@ does it matter
*fingers crossed*
so u believe that luck will play it's part..keep your luck with you.You might need it more than me.
I don't need anything other thatn me,my confidence and goals.

R rating will be put on top today.So that ppl with weak heart like yours get an advance warning.

Preeti said...

@Does it matter...

at times people write because they just feel like writing...we readers tend to interpret and opine and kinda mess up stuff...
there are also many writers and poets who might be ecstatically happy but end up writing the gloomiest poem ever...

so its all about the whole thing not being too much of a critique...

Does it matter said...

@V,

Re: the fingers crossed, it was merely hope that goodness remains & prevails. No reference meant to luck in any manner.

Putting the R rating on top is good - to get a warning out before one reads the post, not after . Not just for folks with weak hearts, but also for folks who might not hv a weak heart, but a different taste.

Tk care.

Preeti said...

@Does it matter...

as bloggers we are a part of a fraternity. we ought to be encouraging each other and not being too brutal with our opinions...

you might think why im psyching your case...but to be frank with you to say you 'hate' something that someone has spent loving time and effort on is just not fair...

thats all...

and just for your information a critic starts with the positive and only then goes on to the negative (that too if need be)...

rain girl said...

@does it matter... am bad at happy poems :P

Does it matter said...

@Preeti
Absolutely right. As I said earlier "A beautiful sad poem is preferable any day to a bad happy one."

Re: readers messing up the thoughts of the writer, but is that not the raison de etre of the writer? To reach out and touch as many people. Else, all blogs would be private, written and read only by self..

•♥•♥[V]♥•♥• said...

@ does it matter

well u are welcome

peace and i am going to visit ur blog now.

•♥•♥[V]♥•♥• said...

@ preeti

totally agreed
take care

Does it matter said...

@ Preeti
Hey you got it all wrong.

When I say I "Hated" it, the context is, it was amazing. Why did I, because it made my eyes moist. I repeat "Evocative, nice.
Honest. Hence, sad."

As I said, it was good, and a little too good. And, I had rather have had this than a stupidly written happy poem.

But I get your point, maybe I SHOULD watch what I say (write).


@ Rain Girl

Apologies. I think I dont mean say what I want to mean.

@ V
Peace prevails. My post (if you can call it that) is nothing worth writing. The good thing about it is that you could finish reading it in a jiffy. Tk care.

--------

Does it matter said...

@Rain girl

"am bad at happy poems"

2 options

- 1 - Hope to hear one soon nevertheless.

- 2 - Else, hope to hear another one of the sad beautiful ones

Option 1 is preferred
:-)

rain girl said...

@does it even matter.. trust me, i totally understood what you meant. :) and i know you meant well.

as for the poem... only when the mood comes..forced poems are never good... you may have to wait...

Does it matter said...

@ Raingirl

Does-it-matter heaves a sigh of relief. (coz u understand I meant well, NOT that the next poem will be a long wait!)

Grown up on a diet of lovely hindi movies, let me wait for your poem with a cliche - Intezaar kaa phal (fal?) meethha hotaa hai.

rain girl said...

@does it matter...

that depends..