Thursday, July 31, 2008

Love...

Sometimes, it felt strange. Out of this world. And yet, it felt beautiful too. Like she had finally learnt how to live. What to live for, actually.

It had been a few weeks since the weird sensation arose it’s head in her heart. Like a flower was blooming. Slowly. One petal at a time. Every petal gently caressing her insides, like thousand butterflies had taken flight. Like a golden ball of fire was growing larger by the moment.

Neha didn’t ignore the feeling, but couldn’t even acknowledge it. After all, it was her end-of-semester exams. There were books to be read, notes to be made, read and re-read. She was too worried about finishing her syllabus on time, and getting it all right to fret over something which seemed so trivial that one could easily pretend it wasn’t there.

But she couldn’t do that anymore. Not after yesterday, at least.

She sighed, threw her book, “Abnormal Psychology: Case Studies” aside and let the thoughts consume her.

It was yesterday that Ruchi was lying beside her, fast asleep. And she had started observing her, first out of sheer boredom, then, more and more out of interest. All of a sudden, Ruchi looked so beautiful. The way her hair gently fell around her face, like a halo – it made her want to sink her face in it. Her hands looked so soft and delicate… and her lips….pink, and brown at the edges, dried, chapped, yet so inviting…

With a shudder, Neha snapped out...what was she thinking? She hurriedly got up, grabbed her duppatta, her books and ran all the way to her room…

It had been a long time, since she had felt the little stir of attraction towards Ruchi. Ruchi, the girl who became her friend first day in college, with whom she shared her notes, her books, her dreams, her hopes, her life…
There wasn’t a day they didn’t spend in each other’s company. Perhaps it was also because of the fact that they had same subjects. They weren’t roommates, but one would find them together all the time.

It was during those grilling study sessions – Ruchi was very strict when it came to studies – that Neha had realized her feelings for her. She felt aghast, and thought that a combination of excess study, lack of boys and too much of Ruchi was screwing her brains. She thought she was straight!

What followed were a few days in which Neha tried every trick in the book to spend as little time with Ruchi as possible, without offending her. But after numerous excuses, headaches, sleepiness and ‘really important work’, she couldn’t take it anymore. Being away from her, that is.

It was Ruchi who made sure that Neha never skipped a meal, no matter what. If Neha had fever, it would be Ruchi running to get some OTC medicine, not her roommates. It was Ruchi with whom she chatted and gossiped about boyfriends late into the night. It was Ruchi who understood her need for solitude, never pestered her with personal questions and let her be.

And so she couldn’t love her because both of them were girls?
Suddenly, it felt unfair. Love is love, irrespective of age or sex. So what was she feeling guilty about! No, she should stop feeling that she was doing something immoral, she decided.

She couldn’t hide this from Ruchi, could she? But how would Ruchi react? Will she understand her, or, god forbid, stop being her friend?

There was a knock on her door. Neha arranged her duppatta and said, “Come in..”
The door opened and Ruchi walked in…
“You look tensed, all ok?”
Neha smiled. “Yes. All is ok now.”….

12 comments:

Comfortably Numb said...

LOL..I dunno why but stories with Indian names sound a bit off to me ...I really have no clue as to why I feel that...

But yes It was a nice post...afterall whats in a name :P

Cheers!

rain girl said...

@comfortably numb.. :P lolz i had to give indian names na..nahi to u wud hav thought it's based in sydney or sth :P

Does it matter said...

Absolutely.

Why would humans think different - just because they are born in a different part of the world?

So, on the one hand, its sad since India is not the West, with its completely liberal outlook towards 'uncommon' relationships.

On the other, however, we are blessed not to be some place where such thoughts would lead to a public lynching!

Count our blessings - though that sounds funny, coming as it does from an agnostic.

Writing has potential, and you sure write better than, for example, one popular Indn writer who has written a few VERY POPULAR pulp novels (which might even have got made into a movie recently.. Hmm, guess who you are superior to!)

All the best.

Does it matter said...

Absolutely.

Why would humans think different - just because they are born in a different part of the world?

So, on the one hand, its sad since India is not the West, with its completely liberal outlook towards 'uncommon' relationships.

On the other, however, we are blessed not to be some place where such thoughts would lead to a public lynching!

Count our blessings - though that sounds funny, coming as it does from an agnostic.

Writing has potential, and you sure write better than, for example, one popular Indn writer who has written a few VERY POPULAR pulp novels (which might even have got made into a movie recently.. Hmm, guess who you are superior to!)

All the best.

rain girl said...

i guessed the author..and i liked two of his books..and it's not the one they are making the movie on.

each has his own choice, his own taste.

As per the gay/lesbian issue, few people know that the west is not so liberal as we think it is. there are laws against gay marriage in many, many states of USA. We, on the other hand, have started talking about changing the one law we have against them..

hope they do it soon.

Does it matter said...

Marriage is a much later phenomenon, and that the West has reached there itself is testimony to the liberal outlook. sure, there are hawks everywhere.

Here, we are talking, but, just talking. It is still a CRIME, and illegal. No, I disagree with you completely on this one - we are just somewhere at Grade 5 (scale of 1-10). While its better than 1-2, we are not at the 8-9-10 of the west.

Regarding the 2 books you liked, the last & most recent one of his books was completely flawed. I hated it for its pretentiousness - expecting the protagonist to write to the author when he is contemplating suicide, for example. Or, the trivialization of the riots of Guj. to an extent where the evil villain is killed by a couple-a cricket shots to his forehead! And even factually incorrect, example, the kv school at ellis bridge that did not exist. Or that Gujaratis never serve khakhra as a snack to visitors to their home. Or that residents of Ahmedabad are called AmDavadis and not AmBavadis !

Pulp for sure. Finished very fast, yes - that was a positive.
But, is a quickie (pardon the pun) enjoyable ?

rain girl said...

@does it matter.. you seem to be someone who likes to debate... not that it's not an admirable trait...

and yes, you are right when you say that they are ahead of us. But what i was saying is, that we should stop comparing. they are not as liberal as we portray them.

as per the book, all of CB's books, are typical bollywood fare. but he writes well. and the points you raised are good, but it's fiction. it's upto a reader to like it, love it, or reject it.

but you know what's good about his books? the honest portrayal of people, with their shades of black, white and grey. esp the protagonist. the suicide bit and reaching to an author was pretty silly, though.

Does it matter said...

Yes rain girl, u got it right. I love to argue. Probably I win most of the time, I bore/ tire/ exhaust/ irritate everyone else into submission..

Yes, we could stop comparing but setting benchmarks is generally considered one way to improve. However, one may wish to just set one's own stds - and who knows it might be a complete new experience.

Re the book, I guess have spoken enough! But I sure hated it when the issue got trivialised on top of so many factual errors. Get yr research done man, you are getting good money for it.

Anyway, a small pleasure: I did not buy the book - but got a pirated version from my library. Yippeee!!

rain girl said...

lolz! till now i almost thought you were a robot (for lack of better expression)...

but the moment you said 'yipeee' :P

comparison isn't good, atleast I don't think so. We should aspire to get ahead, and not aspire to be like the west, on any issue, anything.

Does it matter said...

A robot with emotions..
Wall-E anyone?

Strong feelings, similar emotional outburts.

Comparisons: admirable thought. Idealistic as well. Wish more (all/ most) of our people think the same way.

Am sure they will, the day they move to higher layers of Maslow's heirarchy.

Woh subah, kabhi, to aayegi..

rain girl said...

no. not everyone thinks like that. even i don't - not all the time, atleast.

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